Feedback is your secret weapon for rapid self-development: Part 1, Why We Need It But Avoid It

Many ambitious students ask their mentors, coaches, or role models for advice, hoping to uncover the secrets to success. These students are typically high achievers, excelling in school and striving to get ahead of their peers. Their mentors may give actionable tips–like “setting clear goals” or “creating a study schedule”.

These are good habits to pick up, but they are absolutely not the secret to success. Your unique circumstances mean no prebuilt plan can guarantee your success. Your own success will come about by understanding yourself as you are, and drawing a line between here and where you want to be. Most students skip the foundational step of identifying their strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots. Without this awareness, improvement is guesswork; adopting others’ strategies is an exercise in dart-throwing.

Feedback is the world giving us information about how we appear, what impact we have, what impressions we make, and how we’re performing. It’s data that we can use to make decisions about what to change or where to focus in the future. It comes from anything that responds to what we do, but the best source is other people.

Many students shy away from feedback, even though it’s a critical tool for growth. Why? Because feedback often feels intimidating or uncomfortable. It can be scary to hear someone point out your flaws or mistakes, especially when you’ve worked hard or feel vulnerable about your performance.

In some cases, students only encounter feedback after they've failed–whether it’s a bad grade, a rejection, or a critical remark. These situations can make feedback feel like punishment rather than an opportunity to improve. Students come to associate feedback with bad news. Over time, this creates a fear of feedback, making students hesitant to seek it out proactively.

Additionally, feedback challenges our ego. It forces us to confront the possibility that we’re not as skilled or prepared as we thought. That’s why many people default to avoiding it or becoming defensive when they hear it. But this mindset blocks growth, keeping you in a cycle of limited progress.

Without feedback, you operate in a bubble, limited by your own assumptions. This stunts growth, as you can only improve based on what you already know. Feedback, on the other hand, exposes you to new perspectives and helps you identify areas to refine, accelerating your development. You develop a better plan for growth as you learn more about yourself – it’s that simple. 

To get the power of feedback, you’ll need to learn to develop an appetite for it, a talent for asking for it, and a group of people willing to give it to you. Read more in part two!